Tuesday blahs

It's a dismal Tuesday morning. Clouds fill the sky and it's drizzling outside. Not yet raining, not even really sprinkling. Just drizzling. Kind of matches my mood today, I guess. I try to be happy, I love my kids, I love my husband, I don't mind my job so much - it pays a good portion of the bills, right? So why can't I be happy? I don't know.

Lately I've been getting these panic attacks - my chest tightens up, my heart starts racing and my mind just freaks out. There are a million things running through my head and I can't make sense of any of them. I know there are things that I seriously NEED to do. But for some reason I can't bring myself to do them. Every time I think about something important I need to do I feel a panic attack come on. What the heck is wrong with me??? And then all I want to do is quash that feeling and ignore what's causing it. I need help.

Tonight I'm going to a PPD support group hosted by the Baby Blues Connection. Not sure what to expect - I've never participated in any kind of support group aside from the message boards I participate in online. But those are different. Not the same as sitting in a room with a bunch of women who are going through both similar and different issues than I. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

This morning my husband sent me a picture of Noah that he took Sunday evening, it made me tear up. Sappy old mom, I know, but hey, how can a mom *not* get sappy when she sees such a beautiful picture of her little man?



Well, I guess this is it for now. Work calls and if I don't get it done who knows what'll happen. LOL Kinda short today - for me anyhow. I'm sure I'll be more lengthy tomorrow as I recap my experience at the PPD support group.