"Now is not a good time"

"Please come back tomorrow..."

That's what I hear when I walk up to someone's desk who already knew that I'm coming around, only needing 5 minutes of their time so that I can install a new version of a software program they use on a daily basis. But do they want it? Apparently not, they tell me "Now is just really not a good time, please come back tomorrow." So, I go back this morning as asked and guess what I hear again - "Can you come back later?" Puhlease! I mean, this is my job TODAY. I have today to finish these installs. Not tomorrow, not next week. My boss wants this done today. And seriously, is 5 minutes too much to ask for? Really? Freaking get up, go take a short walk around the building, go the bathroom, go get a cup of coffee, I don't care what you do just give me 5 whole freaking minutes!!!! Sheesh.

OK, I'm done ranting at stupid users. Sometimes the tech support world isn't that great. Really. I didn't seek out this profession, it found me. Strange to say, strange to think, really, since before I started here I knew extremely little about computers. But I got a call, I went for an interview and because I am able to pick things up quickly the rest is history. Five years of history to be exact. I'm tired of it, though. I'm tired of dealing with people who don't know what they're doing or even have any care in the world to know anything about it. I want to stay home with my kids. But that is a whole other ball of wax. Staying home with the kids would mean even more work if you can believe. And often more stress. But then - it may be more work through the day but would it last long into the evenings as it does now? I wonder. Would I be able to do all the chores during the day and be able to enjoy time with my family in the evenings? I don't have that luxury now unless I neglect the house - which freaks my husband out. Man just has to have a clean house - not that he gets that often. LOL It's too much work for me to keep up with. Working 40+ hours a week to bring home a paycheck and taking care of kids, house and husband in my "off time". Ha. What the heck IS off time anyway?

On my way to the PPD support group the other night I was thinking about what it was like before kids. That was soooo long ago! I was 20, almost 21 when I had my daughter. Life before kids was life before 20. Which really wasn't all that much life, you know? But I do remember, albeit vaguely, only having to worry about myself in the mornings before work, only having to worry about feeding myself in the evenings. If I didn't get enough sleep it's because I was doing something I wanted to do and I had no one but myself to blame. My weekends - I got to sleep in as long as I wanted. Stay up as late as I wanted. Do what I wanted. It was all about me. Will I ever have that again? Probably not. Would I trade my kids and what I have now to have that back? Some days I think yes, I would, but in all fairness and honesty the answer is a resounding NO. I love my kids. I love my husband. I don't love my ex-husband and believe I would have been far better off without having ever married him but what's done is done and the time spent with him definitely helped me to realize just what kind of person I don't want to be or be with.

And now that thought is gone. Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to sign off and get my butt back to work. Blech.