Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted here. I guess I just haven't felt the need. Though, I really shouldn't let that stop me because I know I still need the release this writing gives me even if I'm not feeling the need for it.

Anyway...the last week and a half has been busy but fairly uneventful. I'm still going to the PPD Support Group every Tuesday evening though the meds are working very well - I actually feel normal again. Still working on learning how to take care of myself so that I can be a better, healthier Me and therefor a better Mom and Wife. Maybe this is all in my head but I still feel like Beau is holding me back in this endeavor. I want so very much to be all that I can be for him and the kids but he just doesn't seem to get that I need to do what's best for me first before I can take care of his needs. I mean, I'm all for taking care of my husbands needs but not at the cost of my own health. I know what you're thinking - by his "needs" you think I'm talking about sex. No, that's not it at all. I have, for the most part, no problems with enjoying my husband sexually. In fact, we have an incredibly awesome sex life - when we have time for it. But what I really mean by his "needs" are all the duties that are normally taken care of by a SAHM or "House Wife". I am neither, though, and we are in this marriage and this life together. As a partnership. But for some reason my husband seems to think it's all MY responsibility to do the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children. He acts as if I'm putting him out if he actually has to spend a couple hours with the kids on the weekend by himself. So he stays home Mondays with the boys - that's his choice, it's not like that one day a week saves us any money on daycare. However just because he's chosen to spend one weekday a week with his sons and then work 4-10 hour days that doesn't give him the "free card" to not have to be a father the rest of the week. Again, maybe this is just all in my head and we just have some serious communication issues (well, we do have communication issues, no doubt about that), but then again, maybe it's not. I'm just telling it like I see it.

I got some good news the other day, my best friend Chelle is pregnant with baby #2. It's just absolutely amazing! It took her almost 2 years to conceive her 14 month old son Jacob but this time it's only been about 2 months now since she and her husband stopped using any birth control. I guess the Lord just thought she was ready for another one. Anyway, I just thought share her happy news. :0)