I had a fabulous piece of cake at the Cheesecake Factory last night and now my sweets craving is totally curbed. I want no crap food. Not even close to craving it. I had my yogurt & berries this morning with a couple teaspoons of grapenuts mixed in and my 2 pieces of low carb toast with Smart Balance spread. I've got a spinach salad and some mini pitas & hummus for lunch. No idea what I'll do for dinner but possibly squash if the house isn't too hot to bake this evening.
Seriously, considering that AF should be showing up anytime between today and Thursday, I think that's pretty amazing. Though I have noticed over the past few months that my chocolate cravings come during PMS and then are gone by the time AF makes her appearance.
I need more time so I can find more energy. There just aren't enough hours in the day!!!
I am tired but at the same time I have the desire to just get up and GO RUN (not that I can actually run...stupid 
body...). But I need to do SOMETHING, you know? And I know that by DOING I will find more energy. UGH. Why can't I be in this place ALL the time? And why can't I have the time and resources to do what I want/need to for my body??? I want to be fit. I don't care if I'm ever even a size 8 again. But I want to tone up my arms and I want to have at least a semi flat tummy. Not all the nasty bulge I have right now. I am NOT happy in a size 14. A 10 or 12 would be perfect...Now, HOW do I find the time to create the energy???
I mean, I have a full time job where I sit on my ASS all day long. OK, my desk is cool and I can raise it and stand whenever I want but, again, the body doesn't like that. It screams. Literally. But, I do try to spend part of my work day standing. Ahhhh and I digress...
Anyway, I work. Full time. I'm up and out the door by 7:15am every morning. I rush out, drive to not the train stop nearest my home but the next one because parking is better at that one. Jump on a TriMet MAX train and walk into usually just about 3 minutes to 8am. I work all day and then back home and walking in the house usually around 6pm.
Once I'm home I am inundated in children screaming:
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"
"Can I have ____?"
"Will you get me ____?"
"I want ____!!!!"
This I must deal with all while trying to say hello to and spend a few quality minutes with my husband (whom the children have been stuck at home with) before heading to the kitchen to try to figure out what to cook next that my children are only going to turn their noses up at.
Then comes the prep/cooking part of the evening that includes somehow managing to keep the children OUT of the kitchen. Ha! Yeah, right...my kids, stay out of the kitchen? Never! And, of course, this entire time they are yelling at me that they are HUNGRY. Then, as soon as dinner is finished and served guess what they do! You got it! They turn their noses up and say, "I'm not hungry!"
HUH? Really? You're not hungry? Are you sure about this? Because, I'm quite certain I just heard you say you were STARVING like 10 minutes ago.
Yes, this is a scene played out in my home on a nightly basis. It never ends. I swear. After dinner it's snuggle time, books and bed. Of course now that it's getting darker much later they're going to bed later, too. And so this means that anything *Mom* wants to do w/out children under foot has to happen later as well.
Do you see where I'm going with this? I have no life of my own. My life belongs to my employer and my children. Mommy works 24/7 whether she stays home or works for someone else. There never is a quiet moment. Even when the kids are in bed. Oh, how I wish I were kidding...
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